Meanwhile... Things That Only Happen To White People

Oct 4, 2019
1 880 324 Views

Meanwhile... A police officer showed a teen how to tie his tie during a traffic stop. You can read all about it in Meanwhile's favorite magazine about things that only happen to white people. #Colbert #LSSC #Meanwhile
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via CBS All Access, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

Comments
  • I miss this 😭

    Elena DarlingElena Darling5 months ago
  • So while scrolling I had two video thumbnails showing at the same time. But only the caption for 1. I saw an image of Antarctica and the caption above it. Which said, "what only happens to white people?" I saw the image of Antarctica and thought "get lost in the snow?" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    tena2sweettena2sweet6 months ago
  • That preacher is exactly what religions are. The video only shows it blatantly so.

    Jason TheobaldJason Theobald6 months ago
  • Please somebody join my service, I am desperate and lonely, Shabaka rabaka roo

    yoppindiayoppindia6 months ago
  • Things that only happen to white people... yes, in the early 1980’s I was forced to waste 3 hours a day on a bus to a school that wasn’t even near me, EVEN THO there was a great school near me. Why? So I could integrate with blacks and we could all live in harmony. It was F-ING HELL for over 4 years. I was picked on by all kinds of blacks. One year I missed 100 days of school coz I didn’t wanna be hurt by that. It ruined my teen years and changed me for the rest of my life. Now I stay as far as possible from blacks, because I’m afraid of them. I won’t EVER hire one because of my past. Things that happen to white people. Thanks

    Nunyo BidnessNunyo Bidness6 months ago
  • How is itthat people do not see wolves in sheep's clothing. Why do we gravitate towards men who talk about the abundance of God's blessing all the while their is homelessness, human trafficking, children who are brought here to escape violence from their countries and then caged, and when the congregation is asked to give they buy their second and third mansion, private planes take exotic vacations during holidays, film and ask you to watch it as if people aren't living in freezing weather on the streets and expect Sane people not to see that we might not have food in that time, shelter christian companionship. Somehow i dont believe My Christ had that in mind as he was dying on the cross so that we would live our lives helping our brethen. For it is easier for acamel to go thru the eye of a needle than a Rich man to enter the kingdom of Heaven... me thinks these preachers are worship ing the One True God but instead are fattening their own pockets and either have forgotten God's Holy Word or they never knew it to begin with hence on that day i'm concerned after all their lavish living they will hear a voice that tells them Get Away From Me, I know Ye Not

    Sandy OwensSandy Owens6 months ago
  • There are no simple answers to the philosophical, theological, scientific, mathematical, and historical courts of the centuries and those courts are held in the books. Do you expect me to take those allusions seriously? I mean, beyond entertainment for its own sake? Should I say I'm JK because I CSL?

    4 Books Unknown4 Books Unknown6 months ago
  • Add “being called racist” to the list.

    Cdb CdbCdb Cdb6 months ago
  • Echo frame... Makes me think iron man

    Chinonyerem OkekeChinonyerem Okeke7 months ago
  • Oh goody another way to turn our children gay at even a younger age.

    Linda TerryLinda Terry7 months ago
  • Actually I saw a video on USkeys of a cop helping a black young man do his tie for the prom. It was a white cop to. So there!

    Linda TerryLinda Terry7 months ago
  • 4:44 *WoW he got that shoopalaba........ thingi pronounced right.*

    A Billion Views Challenge 0w0A Billion Views Challenge 0w07 months ago
  • I'm not going to say anything bad about this Pastor....It'll be wrong of me...It ALREADY . The HYPOCRISY speaks for itself..... this is the kind of action in this religion is why I quit going to church.... and I was raised in it.....So sad for him ... Brother Perry Stone needs our real Prayers.....from our heart out of our mouth with our words.... I think he understands us in our on languages...i never understood why God would pray back to his self through a person who don't even know what he's saying...(only explanation is it's a Holy language and a gift of the Holy Spirit) I guess God needs to talk to his self sometimes.....Just saying...Prayer should be important...

    Eddie MartinEddie Martin7 months ago
  • So great to see stuff not about Trump.

    Debra JenkinsDebra Jenkins7 months ago
  • Steven. You are my favorite late night talk show. But the openings to the meanwhile sections....Maybe want to rethink those. Not funny. Nobody laughs

    D MD M7 months ago
  • Lmao Colbert is hysterical!

    Robert EmersonRobert Emerson7 months ago
  • 其實海灘遊俠的水上机車遊不遠,会变鲨鱼或鲨鱼追,So,而速航民用省油又快速,还有空间储物艙庫,也可以为蝙蝠侠再创英姿,,,SO??,对了,到底爱華德是林肯的,兄弟还是父子輪流一次次,,,??Y。 谁先策劃呢??,钦巴貝格有记录喔,,,So??。

    柳岑焉柳岑焉8 months ago
  • OF COURSE that happened in Utah. Bet they were both mormons, too

    KadieJ501KadieJ5018 months ago
  • Things that only happen to Jewish people........ see the problem?

    Baird GrimmBaird Grimm8 months ago
    • Nope.

      Chi SunChi Sun7 months ago
  • Sounds like his in a action

    S SoledadS Soledad8 months ago
  • That ‘preacher’ sounds like an auctioneer...

    hazeluzzellhazeluzzell8 months ago
  • *Alluding to the High Secret Traditions* They mixed a lot of high traditional secrecy in this Buddy Holly-Jazz bag of modern music, dumbed them down a little, then labeled them genres and pitched them as new but they really hold to traditional values. I guess they wanted that esoteric path of discovery that is so true to religion? What they mean by new is really super-traditional. CSL, people think the same from computers and cell-phones but they're really made from traditional values. When idiots think of tradition they think of an older etiquette and reach for the utensils and manners of some early vague time period. This is rarely the case. What is usually inferred by vampirism is a revenge of the subconscious as it struggles to define its areas. They have just enough information for it to take hold. Not the Freudian "unconscious" but the new definition of "new unconscious" which is as big as the movements in physics, today. These bags are rich with that tradition, sure. Do I look affected?

    4 Books Unknown4 Books Unknown8 months ago
  • It would been perfect if the guy that did LSD and fell into the pond naked after he was fished out has told the park staff & security, *"I AM THE LIZARD QUEEN!!"*

    Lord NanfoodleLord Nanfoodle8 months ago
  • The list of false preachers out there now is long. Many are just in it for the large sums of cash they rake in. Untaxed cash.

    Anthony GilbertAnthony Gilbert8 months ago
    • Grifters......

      Dixie NormissDixie Normiss7 months ago
  • You're getting a little extravagant with your Meanwhile introductions.

    Kathy WilkinsKathy Wilkins8 months ago
  • To that Pentecostal: "Uoy era a gnikcuf elohssa.

    Captain GalaxyCaptain Galaxy8 months ago
  • Thoracic aortic dissections aren’t repaired, they’re replaced . . .

    Talitha ErovitzTalitha Erovitz8 months ago
  • So, that dude either decided to eat some acid by himself at Disney, or his friends were also twisted and left him for fate to sort out because they got scared. This is why you only trip with at least one sober or (preferably) very experienced person around! Unless you are that very experienced person, but if you were that, you wouldn't wind up naked and confused in a pond at Disney.

    The sinner Jim WhitneyThe sinner Jim Whitney8 months ago
  • Haha everybody addicted to the phone? Yes, Lord.

    Lizzie BanyanLizzie Banyan8 months ago
  • Literally phoning it in. Someone probably already said that.

    Shanti MattieShanti Mattie8 months ago
  • Living in Utah?

    Cory L. O'HanlonCory L. O'Hanlon8 months ago
  • that's fine - rip on white culture - good for you and your self-righteous way....even though we white males make up 1/19th of the world population, we continue to dominate. good luck changing the TABLE OF NATIONS you stupid bastard. we're just harder than you...let the jokes pile on....who caaaaaaares

    Bobby RosenBobby Rosen9 months ago
  • I could feel Republicans holding their breath during the three way hug in the movie- it could have ended up being the biggest explosion in the whole movie. Yay for gay I guess, but Disney missed their shot at non-monochromatic non-binary inter-planetary polyamory.

    Thomas ConnorsThomas Connors9 months ago
  • Am I am the only one thinking, that those tele evangelists are nothing but money grabbing conmen, who rip off gullible people ?

    Jan TschierschkyJan Tschierschky9 months ago
  • 4:02 sounds like the emperor laughing 😂

    kyle armstrongkyle armstrong9 months ago
  • L

    Kalp ShahKalp Shah10 months ago
  • meanwhile, I automatically fast forward 40 seconds to get past the tiresome intro to what is actually a good segment...

    trut hurtstrut hurts10 months ago
  • 😂😂😂😂

    Veronica BVeronica B10 months ago
  • "Stop calling me!" ~The Lord.

    PsiberzerkerPsiberzerker10 months ago
  • Damn it! I was shipping Kylo, and Poe hard, too!

    PsiberzerkerPsiberzerker10 months ago
  • I love the Meanwhile segments and this one might be the best yet! 🤣

    privacymatterspageprivacymatterspage11 months ago
  • Stephen Colbert is a God damn national treasure

    Blake CarterBlake Carter11 months ago
  • The paster sounds like he hit a glitch in his code.

    Tamaria TaishoTamaria Taisho11 months ago
  • I just attempted the phone flip he did and broke my screen...!

    La ParisienneLa Parisienne11 months ago
  • ... okay. If that was his attempt at speaking tongues that was sad... (I say as someone raised in a church that preached it). Dude. No singing? No peppering of names of God? No singing holy holy? 1/5 stars. (He gets 1 star for swaying. The swaying is important)

    Aki nmytuaAki nmytua11 months ago
  • You have to hand it to them, they are the reason doo-wop still lives: "Boom-Dhaka-Lanka-boom, rah-rah, siss boom bah. Murky Turkey jerky, all-natural, flavorful, no preservatives or artificial colors, Sa-weet Jeeeee-zussah!"

    Captain GalaxyCaptain Galaxy11 months ago
  • Televangelists who speak in tongues while checking their texts and the people who believe in them.

    remcatremcat11 months ago
  • I always thought the officially 1st gay couple from Disney is those two sheriffs from Gravity Falls.

    Man LilMan Lil11 months ago
  • Sometimes I think the best part of meanwhile is the intro

    Grace StephanGrace Stephan11 months ago
  • Okay, so he's an auctioneer who got a divinity degree, so what?

    L. A. GothroL. A. Gothro11 months ago
  • HILARIOUS!!! 😁😂🤣

    Diana Nana-stay SoenarieDiana Nana-stay Soenarie11 months ago
  • "Things that happen only to white people" should be a recurring segment.

    Trekkie from New ZealandTrekkie from New Zealand11 months ago
    • @muckymucks tbf, I think what people mean is that your parents weren't segregated and confined to red lined neighborhood. That said, I agree that there's two kind of whites in the eyes of the government, rich one and useless ones. Right now, only one candidate is fighting against this trend and it's Bernie Sanders. Get the money out of politics and abolish PACs, that's the only way our country won't be controlled by special interests.

      ✊🏿 Mrsotiredofthenewyoutubes✊🏿✊🏿 Mrsotiredofthenewyoutubes✊🏿6 months ago
    • ​@Daya Autum Can confirm. In my hometown in California (Santa Ana), 90% of the population is Mexican. The only homeless people around here are white people. They don't look too privileged to me.

      muckymucksmuckymucks6 months ago
    • Yes I could see how different my life would have been had I only been born with more privilege. While I am certainly still better off than black and brown people 9in some ways, "things that only happen to white people" does not apply to you if you are poor and underprivileged.

      Daya AutumDaya Autum6 months ago
    • "FASHION POLICE" 🤣

      Orion TigleyOrion Tigley7 months ago
  • What ever happened to, Stephen Colbert's Midnight Confessions?

    John D Post-StoneJohn D Post-Stone11 months ago
  • Disney sees you. Loool

    Tawakalt Oseni - HKF.Tawakalt Oseni - HKF.11 months ago
  • Disney sees you. Loool

    Tawakalt Oseni - HKF.Tawakalt Oseni - HKF.11 months ago
  • I had a friend in high school who said his granny could speak in tongues while hunting in her purse for a piece of gum.

    Luann NelsonLuann Nelson11 months ago
  • I am a Muslim now and have been for 16 years. However growing up I tried out several churches. I grew up in a regular christian church with no denomination. Simply christian church. We had our neighbor Methodists and a little down the road baptists. Now in the city about 40 minutes away there was the holy rollers. We always called them that. It was actually a completely white church ( virginia /west virginia lines) Now I had began studying Islam then and I had been living in Morocco maybe 2 years. I was then 18 years old and had traveled there with my mom who had a small company there. When the company closed we moved back and though i had inwardly accepted Islam , my grandparents pressured me to go back to church. Now I had never seen this type in person only on tv. So when i walked in and people were running the aisles, throwing themselves on the floor, and doing their " tongues" I didnt know what to think. Was this a zoo or a church? Now their Tongues they said "came to them" that each person had their own tongue and they had to find it and then it would release their inner heart and soul and open more to God. Now growing up in the christian church we knew tongues meant speaking other languages. That particular verse in the bible they use for the support of "tongues" was referring to when God made all the people speak different languages so they couldn't understand each other because all they did was fight. Branching out afterwards into the various languages that exist in the world. They take it as we each have an "inner" tongue that we have to use. Now tell me... how do you get that you have your own language deep within? You got english folks. Sorry thats what you got. Others got spanish, some french, some arabic. You got the bloodline of english speakers. Thats it . That is your tongue and your language. Unless you choose to learn another or have a mixed family, this is your tongue. So you speak in your language. Not random gibberish . ooo la la ba ba gh ta lalaaaaaa... Now i was encouraged to speak "tongues" which i couldnt. I had no idea what to do. I listened to others near me spouting off sounds. What i realized is these people find a particular sound or set of sounds they like and just keep repeating. I went to this church with them for several months and got used to knowing what each person who sat near me did. It was never anything new. Just the same repeated sounds. They were also very high pressure. There was no cutting hair, wearing pants, or anything like that for females. They also could not marry outside of the church if they grew up in it. So girls i spoke to said, well our pickings are few there is only 2 boys i can choose from and one is my brother. So sadly i will end up having to marry ______. I felt sad for her. They walk around with oil and expect to see you in your "tongues" state and they want to come and anoint you and keep praying over you as you are to shake and quake and some fall to the floor. Nicest people you can find but weird as hell. To this day i do not understand how educated we are in our country that we can fall for these types of things without sitting and thinking... Is this a logical way to reach God? Is this an acceptable form of prayer? Throwing ourselves around, running, and screaming nonsense?

    Ria ElenaRia Elena11 months ago
  • @4:26 ...is that the ‘farting preacher’?

    lcozzarellilcozzarelli11 months ago
  • "...NA-NA NA-NAAAAAA!"

    naywahnnaywahn11 months ago
  • And everyone wonders why I think religion is full of $#!+.

    Tommi JyurroTommi Jyurro11 months ago
  • Well, this spectacle should show you that "speaking in tongues" is a giant scam game. If he was really "full of the spirit" he wouldn't be distractable. Guess his God just isn't that interesting.

    DiscovermyviewDiscovermyview11 months ago
  • Colbert is such a douche

    Jerry OlsonJerry Olson11 months ago
  • And yes, if the pastor asked for hundreds of dollars from his followers, they'd send it. Via PayPal?

    Tinthia ClemantTinthia Clemant11 months ago
  • What has this world come too?! I turn off my phone in church! To hear the word! This pastor is lost and needs God! 😂😂😂

    Jah LukeJah Luke11 months ago
  • OMG! Full freaking stop.

    kai duCoeurkai duCoeur11 months ago
  • I like the Meanwhile stories but hate the opening. I just forward it a minute into the skit.

    Kel GreenKel Green11 months ago
  • Help us.

    357CLOUDY Black Feather357CLOUDY Black Feather11 months ago
  • Things only black...sorry that’s racism

    Jack KennyJack Kenny11 months ago
  • Orange man bad.

    Minnesota Red1981Minnesota Red198111 months ago
  • That dude is def searching his phone for the next thing to say

    Sapphire RiddlesSapphire Riddles11 months ago
  • Organized religion in a nutshell.😆🥴

    QueenEQueenE11 months ago
  • Disney sees you 😬

    nachtegael Wnachtegael W11 months ago
  • I thought that pastor was going to say BK have it your way. Yes Lord Yes Lord Yes Lord

    Primetime210 Youtube Red AccountPrimetime210 Youtube Red Account11 months ago
  • Why would a man stopping to help a younger man tie his necktie be 'A thing only white people will do???" 🤨🤔😤🤫🤫🧐

    Nashea EverhartNashea Everhart11 months ago
  • Isn't it 'things that happen to us?' because you are white too

    run me over with your carrun me over with your car11 months ago
  • Everyday Inbred Jezuz Freaks and t..Rumpies show their Moron-idity

    seker7seker711 months ago
  • Democrats

    Josh LevertonJosh Leverton11 months ago
  • even though Perry Stone's clip was kinda funny, i can attest that when speaking in tongues you can still do multiple things. for instance if i was a polyglot i can still speak many languages and still wash dishes while talking and praying at the same time. lol.... as a believer who does actually speak in tongues i can see how that looks strange to ppl. but also as a believer i can also say that he shouldn't have been that distracted and should have been focused on communicating with God because like the other poster said,- that was the longest unnnhhhhhhhhhh in history. he was distracted by reading the text which can still be done while speaking in tongues. ijs

    Donna WilsonDonna Wilson11 months ago
  • It just looks like he wrote his script on his phone and forgot his lines.

    Layla Abdush-ShaheedLayla Abdush-Shaheed11 months ago
  • I believe that is one of trumps spiritual advisors

    FredFred11 months ago
  • Except when it happens to white people

    Tye TassTye Tass11 months ago
  • AT 2:03, that looks like some GREAT tea, what is in it??? ooohhh nothing too fancy, just some LSD

    Rawflcounsel76Rawflcounsel7611 months ago
  • 👽 It’s about time we have this comical analysis of WHITE PEPO! I LOVE IT! 💋 STEPHEN 💋

    Da MiDa Mi11 months ago
  • www.wlfi.com/content/news/Load-of-frozen-bagels-scorched-when-semis-axle-catches-fire-562440131.html?fbclid=IwAR0Vcdvd4kxI30bvrboN0cY_tZZJwPKTuDUvI05g-UqRsAvsYxL9xVv4PfI

    Eric AndrewsEric Andrews11 months ago
  • Maybe he was getting a text from God.

    SemiAwareSemiAware11 months ago
  • lol Oh my goodness! I am hoping that the pastor was reading his sermon notes off his phone. Absolutely hilarious!

    carmay3600carmay360011 months ago
  • Black juror sentenced to 10 day for turning up late. White actress committs college and IRS fraud and get 14 days suspended. American justice for all.

    BRIANBRIAN11 months ago
  • Great content 😝

    Cash CartiCash Carti11 months ago
  • How is this real? Lol

    Vermi HaxVermi Hax11 months ago
  • He is a con man. All these televangelists are just scamming people and it's got to stop.

    Darren SkjoelsvoldDarren Skjoelsvold11 months ago
  • Good intro to this one

    ASMRtistASMRtist11 months ago
  • Perfect

    Fletch DavidsonFletch Davidson11 months ago
  • When he telling his Lord to have his way and then he makes that uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sound... I was like Bro, what are you in too with your Lord???? I mean he did say he Prayed for... DELIVERANCE, DELIVERANCE, DELIVERANCE, DELIVERANCE! (And the banjo music plays)

    Dj ROCKITDj ROCKIT11 months ago
  • He doesn't even hold sacred what he professes to be sacred. I can see checking the time on your phone if you are trying to wrap up your talk/prayer at a specific time... but he went too far.

    Charles Hepburn IICharles Hepburn II11 months ago
  • Haha that's funny,but if it was titled "Things that only happen to black people" then people would have a problem. Good thing it isnt about black people, only white people haha guys.

    all_late_gamer56all_late_gamer5611 months ago
  • You don't get it Stephen, God now uses text messages xD

    saultube44saultube4411 months ago
  • Aww the traffic stop and tie teaching is adoreable i love that story.

    sclol707sclol70711 months ago
  • Ah...American style religion.

    Ptao TomPtao Tom11 months ago
    • Ptao Tom Only a small portion of America

      Mary Rose KentMary Rose Kent11 months ago
  • Hard to believe there are still people out their stupid enough to fall for the circus clown "evangelist" types. Such BS con artists. I am sure money is involved. Wake the F up people!

    BrianRDubBrianRDub11 months ago
  • "Disney sees you" 😂🍻

    Alex AlmeidaAlex Almeida11 months ago
    • How do people watch that pastor speaking “tongues” and not think he is completely insane?

      Ptao TomPtao Tom11 months ago
USkeys